“A Good Mother”
How a life-changing awakening changed my definition.
“You’re a Good Mom,” the coffee mug read as I removed the wrapping paper. The little hearts underneath the words seemed to validate the message. I had just received it from my well-intended sister-in-law for Mother’s Day.
“She has no clue,” I thought, as heaviness washed over me and a knot tightened in my stomach. Even though I had acquired plenty of “good mom” moments and I felt good about pouring a lot of myself into my family, I certainly didn’t feel like “a good mom” much of the time.
Being a “good mom” to me meant doing everything with endless patience, preferably with a smile on my face, always having energy to engage with my kids, not yelling at them, being fair and collected when setting boundaries, all while doing my tasks without asking for much help.
I felt like a failure at motherhood quite often.
Besides that, I was supposed to be grateful and happy for having healthy children and a supportive husband, while having the means to be a stay-at-home mom and raising our children in a good neighborhood with good schools. I certainly was grateful, but not as happy and fulfilled with my lifelong dream of being a stay-at-home mom. What in the world was wrong with me?
I received the answer to that question during a life-changing spiritual awakening.
During this profoundly mystical transformation, I was shown that I had been looking at motherhood and life through the wrong lens all along. It was the faulty lens that had made me miserable, not the way that I had parented. It was the lens of perfection and my judgment of “anything less than” that had gotten me in trouble. False and limiting beliefs about what I thought would make me a good mother had been clouding my lens.
And, when the veil had finally lifted, allowing me to perceive life with such great clarity, I knew that all I had to do was my best as a mom. No longer imprisoned by my dysfunctional beliefs, I basked in newfound freedom of unconditional love, while profoundly trusting the unfolding of life itself, and joyously knowing that I was good-enough. I had finally come home to my own wholeness and I knew that I no longer had to prove myself. I was enough. In this state of unconditional love, I accepted all my flaws as part of the human condition, no longer looking at them with judgment.
I now know that we are all on our own path of awakening to who we truly are, beyond our conditioned mind of who we think we should be, or what the ideal mother is. We often forget that life is a mystery and that we will never comprehend it. And, that there are no perfect parents or perfect children.
I also learned that our children have their own unique purpose, just like you and I do. And, even if their lives unfold differently than you expected or wanted them to, we can learn to trust that there might be reasons beyond our limited understanding, woven into the greater picture of creation. This is why it is important that we create our own fulfilling life with meaning and purpose, so that our children can see that they can do the same for themselves.
Doing the best we can to our best knowledge and ability is good enough. I know that for sure. And, if we can learn to accept “what is” rather than focus on “what isn’t,” life becomes easier and more enjoyable, no matter how messy life gets at times.
So, this Mother’s Day, know that you are more than good enough.
Happy Mother’s Day!
